


As If You Could Ever Resist Me

by elirwen



Series: As If You Could Ever Resist Me [1]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Loneliness, M/M, Masturbation, Sadness, Virgin!Merlin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-22
Updated: 2012-05-22
Packaged: 2017-11-05 20:04:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/410467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elirwen/pseuds/elirwen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He wants, he craves, he wishes. Long years he thought himself immune to the pain of loneliness, but the clock is ticking...</p>
            </blockquote>





	As If You Could Ever Resist Me

Merlin blinks his eyes open, watching the streaks of light on the ceiling. He stretches, but doesn’t reach for his phone to check the time. It’s his day off and he has no plans other than enjoy it thoroughly. 

He guides his hand down his body to palm his half-hard cock through the thin layer of his sleep pants. He takes his time rubbing over it before releasing it from its confines and taking it in his hand. He strokes slowly at first, still staring at the play of light above him. 

But then the colour stirs something inside him, pulls out a memory of golden hair glistening in the sun, and Merlin’s hips hitch up a bit. Merlin closes his eyes then, reaching for more – taut muscles moving under the sun-kissed skin, beads of water rolling down the man’s torso, clinging to the smattering of chest hair, as he climbs out of the pool.

Merlin tries to stop his imagination right there, to not give a name to the image, as he pumps his cock with increasing speed. 

The man’s lips curl in too familiar smirk and he says, “as if you could ever resist me.”

And that’s it, Merlin’s tumbling over the edge, his mind full of Arthur and only Arthur.

A few moments of pure pleasure and relief are slowly replaced by deep sadness and vulnerability. Tears start slipping from Merlin’s eyes as the emotions keep warring deep inside him and he rolls to the side, burying his face in his pillow.

He wants, he craves, he wishes. Long years he thought himself immune to the pain of loneliness, but the clock is ticking, and here he is, almost twenty three and still alone and untouched as on the day he was born.

He tries to hold onto one of his fantasies to ground himself and preserve the last bits of hope. He thinks of strong arms holding him close and kisses pressed to his neck, of hands caressing his body and sweet words whispered into his ear. 

‘As if you’d ever want me,’ Merlin whispers, more tears soaking the pillow.

**Author's Note:**

> Also [on my journal](http://elirwen.livejournal.com/40689.html)


End file.
